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Funniest Quarantine Jokes
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
- Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake
- My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
- Knock knock. Who is there? Seriously, don’t touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.
- Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy. For months nobody has walked into a bar.
- What did the astronauts say to NASA when they notified them that their mission was complete and they could return to earth? Thanks, but no thanks.
A Mixed Bag.
2. Snakes and ladders
3. Intelligence
4. A moth
5. Lighter Centrifugal force is greatest at the equator hence making gravity less.
6. A beard Tax
7. Monday ( Dynamo)
8.Tom
9. False, Papers were not allowed to report on it in case it demoralised people during the war, as Spain was neutral they could so it was first reported by Spain, hence the name.
10. Mooning ( all showed their Buttocks)
- Name the only move in chess in which a player moves two pieces in the same move? And the player with which colour pieces always starts the game?
- The phrase 'back to square one' originates, or is at least influenced, by which board game?
- What quality in a man is a sapiosexual lady most attracted to?
- Named in 2017 by scientist Vazrick Nazari since its yellowish-white head scales were reminiscent of Donald Trump's hair, what species of insect is Neopalpa donaldtrumpi?
- Would you weigh lighter, the same, or more at the equator than you would at the poles?
- What sort of tax was introduced by Henry VIII in 1535? A) Beard tax, B) Archery tax. C) Sheep tax
- Which is the only day of the week that has an anagram?
- Tom's father has five sons. The first four are named Ten, Twenty, Thirty and Forty; what's the name of the fifth son?
- True or false - the Spanish flu originated in Spain?
- What 'act' links Norman soldiers at the Battle of Crecy in 1346, footballer Joey Barton at Goodison Park in 2006, and Ukranian Vitalii Sediuk at the 2017 Eurovision song contest?
ANSWERS.
2. Snakes and ladders
3. Intelligence
4. A moth
5. Lighter Centrifugal force is greatest at the equator hence making gravity less.
6. A beard Tax
7. Monday ( Dynamo)
8.Tom
9. False, Papers were not allowed to report on it in case it demoralised people during the war, as Spain was neutral they could so it was first reported by Spain, hence the name.
10. Mooning ( all showed their Buttocks)